If I told you that your life was to be without discouragement, I would be flat out lying to you. Discouragement is a simple part of life. It can creep in when you least expect it to and if allowed to take over, will destroy whatever it is you are trying to do.

Discouragement is an enemy to success

So what do we know about discouragement? Let’s break down the actual word: Dis-Courage-Ment. So we see the word “Courage” in the middle there. Is it safe to say that the meaning of the word is to be without courage? I read a quote the other day that said: “Discouragement is not the absence of adequacy but the absence of courage.” Meaning, it’s not that a discouraged person is unable to complete the task at hand, it’s just a brief moment of having the lack of courage to move forward. Now I used the word “Brief” for a reason. As I look back in my career as a Home Business Entrepreneur, even my most discouraging times were very short. Why? Because I quickly regain my whits, or courage, and move forward.

Ponder on this a bit. How close do you think discouragement and failure is to success? Obviously they are very different, but what is the connection there? Do they have anything to do with each other? The answer is YES! They do! Discouragement, if allowed to take control, can result in failure. But, both failure and discouragement are stepping stones on the path to success. Without expecting yourself to get discouraged or to fail, you must also realize that it’s all part of the process. Don’t ever think that you are the only one that has ever felt like things just weren’t going to happen for you. Everybody has had those feelings sometime or the other and it’s simply because they lost their courage for a brief moment. Once that courage is found, you feel even more powerful and more energized than before. I sometimes think that everyone should experience it, so that they know how powerful they really are.

Here’s a quote that fits perfectly:

“Permanence, perseverance and persistence in spite of all obstacles, discouragement, and impossibilities: It is this that in all things distinguishes the strong soul from the weak.” -Thomas Carlyle

Hint: The way to overcome discouragement, is by planning to, before it comes. In other words, development such a strong work habit, which will build an external toughness, that will get you through any temporary, internal discouragement. Set yourself up to win when the rough times come, but never expect them to. If you set yourself up to win, you will!

A man was walking down a street. It was a very nice street with all kinds of shops, restaurants and people. It was the most prosperous street in town and this certain man was having a fantastic time. He was headed to a restaurant he had heard about and lunch time was approaching. Well, before eating the best meal he would ever have, he looked at a wall down an alley, and read something someone wrote. It said, “This is the worst street in the world. Don’t eat the food, it’s the worst food you will ever have and it costs way too much!” Well, naturally, the guy decided not to eat at the restaurant, which is also the choice that most people would make. Only very few actually go into the restaurant after reading the writing on the wall. These very few are the people that enjoy the best food and will continue to return to the restaurant regardless of what someone else says, because they know first hand and create their own opinions. It turns out, the guy who wrote that comment on the wall, which is graffiti, lives just below it in a cardboard box.

The Graffiti Restaurant

The internet is a wall full of graffiti from people who have been offended, found fault, found what they thought were greener pastures or just plainly quit. That’s why it is there. They can’t blame themselves for their own failure. That would be crazy right?! So they make their blame public by using the internet.

I mean, someone could walk into paradise and still find something wrong with it if they were looking for it. Right!? Thus is life. As an example, I live near Phoenix Arizona. I’m not saying that Phoenix is paradise okay, but when it rains, it cools off the entire town, and for a brief moment, can be paradisical. It only rains a few times a year there and people were actually complaining about the rain, wishing it would stop. This is proof that people will complain about anything, regardless of what a blessing it is.

Ten times out of ten, the guy to listen to is definitely not the guy who moves from one opportunity to the next, hoping that it will be better than the last. And ten times out of ten, the ones to listen to are not the bums writing graffiti in forums. The ones to listen to are the people who have created success. It just makes sense! You just have to ask yourself the questions, “Who do want to become like?” If you want to be a graffiti bum, take advice from the graffiti bum. If you want to be outrageously successful, take advice from the outrageously successful. Simple!

I eagerly await the day when the majority of the people take the advice of someone successful over the opinion of 30 people who are not. Following the majority has never been the way to create success in life. Otherwise, everyone would be outrageously successful. If you are following the majority, chances are, your results are just like the majority, average! Ask Albert Einstein if he followed the majority, Abraham Lincoln, Michael Jordan. There a leaders and there are followers. A follower, is not a leader.

It turns out, the restaurant owner in the story decides to leave the statement on the wall that deters so many people and is glad it is there. Why? It’s because he now gets the perfect customer. The customer who is loyal and returns often and tells all his other loyal friends about this great restaurant. The statement on the wall keeps out the ones who would have found fault, even in paradise! It keeps the ones out that are “wishy-washy” in their decisions and jump from one thing to the next. It keeps out the ones who are terrified to experience change. It keeps out the followers of the majority. The graffiti bum has actually done the restaurant owner a huge favor!

You, the one reading this, might be the one who bases decisions on what the graffiti says. If it is you, I hope you are enjoying “average!”

Choose to be the one out of 30 who can see past the graffiti and the bum living below it, who was the author of it.

Better yet, who are you? Don’t you know? Example: Every once in a while you’ll get a day off and you happen to be walking down the beach. You see a guy sitting there, on the beach, on the phone, telling the person on the other end to wire the $22,000 to his bank account. Naturally, you would automatically think, who is that guy and what does he do that allows him to be on the beach in the middle of the week making that kind of money.

Most likely, the guy making that kind of money is not wondering who the guy is that is wondering who he is. He probably doesn’t even know who he really is, but he sure as heck knows what he wants. He is who he has chosen to be and who he is being is his ideal person.

Knowing the answer to the question, “Who am I,” is by simply doing the things that you love to do and want to do. The choices you make every single day are the only things that dictate who you are, or at least who you are being. If you choose to go to your job everyday, you are choosing to be the employee who works 12 hour days. If that’s what you want, be that person. On the other hand, if you want to be the guy on the beach making $22,000 with a single phone call, then choose to be that guy. There’s nothing difficult about it. It’s just a choice!

People complicate things by thinking they can’t be who they want to be because of “whatever!” Well, they have chosen to not be who they want to be and have allowed such a small obstacle keep them from that. So instead of being the successful person who takes action, he now becomes the Elephant who is scared of a mouse. He becomes the excuse maker instead of the decision maker.

So if you keep making excuses in your life, who are you? You’re not being who you want to be.

How many times have we all done that? How many times have we caught wind of a conversation, and wondered how that person was so successful, or so happy. How many times have we wondered how they did it or what they do to to make it all happen? I can tell you one thing, it doesn’t happen anymore for me. I am that person now because of my decisions to act on what I want.

In the words of Batman Begins, ‘It’s not who you are underneath, it’s what you do that defines you!’ It’s not what you think about doing, it’s what you actually do. Michael Jordan didn’t become the greatest player in the history of the NBA because of who he thought he was. He had to actually do it. That is who he is because he acted.

Life is real time! It’s happening right now. When you step up to that plate to take the first pitch, are you going to blame your strikeout on an injury or a broken bat…….or are you going to lean in, take a firm grip on the bat, point to the bleachers and hit a homerun? You have the potential to become all that you have ever wanted to be. Don’t be a wuss about making it happen. It takes guts, it takes a knowing and it takes you making bold choices regardless of the obstacles.

This morning after I dropped my oldest daughter off at school I decided to take a jog. It was around 8 am and every morning I listen to a wake-up to success call. It’s a 15 minute call and different people are invited to this call as guests. The topics vary but the guests are always very inspiring, successful people. My wife and I have been guests on this call several times and absolutely have a blast with it.

So I took my phone with me, dialed into the call straight up at 8am and started listening to the call. It was a great call and before I knew it, I was already done with my jog. It was much easier than usual this time and I ran even further than before. Two days before, I felt like I was going to die right there in the middle of my run. It was a ton easier today. Why?

In the military, we would run all the time. For me, 5 to 6 miles every other day is murder, at least it was at first. The military has this all figured out. They use cadence to distract you while you run. While you are concentrating on the beat and the words of the cadence, you all of the sudden find 5 or 6 miles an easy task. It is all about the distraction. It takes your mind off the distance you are having to run and directs it to something simple.

Now, if it’s that easy to take your mind off of a simple thing like running long distances, can we apply that to our lives and how? It is through visualizing!

How and Why do we Visualize?

For me, visualizing is done several different ways and at different times throughout the day. But I always take a few minutes, every day, sitting there in silence, just thinking about my future. What do I want? How do I want it to happen and what is it going to feel like when it does? That is what I visualize and I get so clear on what I want that it feels so real at times.

Visualizing is the very simple technique of taking your mind off of the here and now, the struggles of life, by thinking of what you want your life to be like. It’s a lot more powerful than you may think. Some people may call it daydreaming, but it is so much more. Day dreaming is something that your mind does when you have nothing else to do or are bored. Visualizing takes effort. You are creating an ideal situation and placing yourself right smack in the middle of it. That’s takes effort. It is productive where daydreaming is just burning time. It is an escape, a self mastermind, getting  clear on your purpose, a way to know exactly what your future can hold for you.

Your subconscious mind has no idea what is real and what isn’t. Simply visualizing your goals consistently will cause your subconscious to start to believe it is really happening. When that happens, your actions will start to move you in that direction. Visualizing creates a dream atmosphere for your mind and we all know that if your mind can dream it up, it can happen, and will happen the more you want it.

So my advice is to take time every single day to visualize about what you want in life. It makes the  journey a ton easier, it helps you to become clear on what you want and takes your mind off of anything that may deter you. It really does work!

In the words of one of my all time favorites, “If you can dream it, you can do it.” -Walt Disney

Have you ever sat there just wondering what might have happened if you would have done one thing or another different? Have you ever asked yourself the question, “What if?” What if I would have gone out for football when I was a senior? What if I hadn’t injured my knees my junior year in basketball? What if I had started that business I was thinking about starting a while back? The questions could go on and on and if you are a normal person, you have asked yourself similar questions throughout your life.

Now, in a sense, these questions can also be considered as mild regrets. It’s not that your life would have been completely different with some of the choices you wonder about, but with others, your life would be on a completely different track. So are all choices important? Absolutely they are, and it kills me to see people who are so undecided when faced with a choice to act. Indecision is still a decision not to act. If a person never acts, they become victims to the term, “Whatever happens, happens!” They are not in control of where they end up.

Now for me, I love being in control. In fact, I spend time every day to visualize my life in the near and distant future. I know exactly where I am going to end up. I devote time to knowing where I will be. Then I choose to act on the things that will move me closer to where I already know I am going to be. It’s simple really and just a matter of knowing.

This question can also be used in direct correlation to fear. What if I fail at this new business, what if I make the wrong decision, what if everybody hates the way I sing, what if nobody likes the subjects I blog about. I read a quote yesterday from Dr. Seuss that read, “Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.”

My goal is to have the lowest amount of, “What if’s” in my life. If you think about the path you have traveled in your life up to this point, how would it be different if you had made some different decisions? What if you would have married that other girl, what if you had gone out for sports, what if you had chosen a different major, or what if you had started that business when you had wanted to? Your life would be on a different path, a worse path or may even a better path.

Here’s my advice, make your decisions, and make them quickly. Success is all about momentum. Don’t waste away your precious time thinking about things. That will only kill your momentum and thinking will not get you anywhere. Acting on those thoughts is the secret.

Be decided, always. You are either on one side of the fence or the other. There is no middle. Indecision is a decision not to act, thus staying on your current path of being tossed to a fro by the wind of life. Decisions are the rudders on your ship. Use them to chart your course to your predetermined, premeditated destination. Don’t be the one sitting around months or even years from now asking yourself the question, “What if!”

Thinking outside of the box has become a very popular phrase. Corporate America has adopted the phrase in an attempt to increase productivity from employees. Entrepreneurs use it to inspire creativity and uniqueness. It seems to have a pretty nice effect. People actually start to thing larger and bigger than before as if they were automatically given permission to do so. I mean, the results are in the positive, but I can’t help but think, was there ever a box to begin with or did we all just sort of create our own box. Or maybe our so called created “box” was created by other people and we just automatically or gradually assumed it as our own?

First off, let’s define the box. The box is some sort of mental boundary. I mean, picture yourself living in a box. You can only see as far as the box allows you to, right? The box is the block that prevents your method of operation or your vision to expand. So the concept of thinking outside of the box is all about getting outside of your comfort zone. It’s about thinking differently, bigger or better. It’s about getting results that you never thought were possible.

So what’s up with the box? Understanding the box is the first step to progress. The box, was created by our own self belief and contains what we believe is possible to achieve. So, we created this so called box of limitations, or adopted someone elses box or beliefs of what is possible and made them our own. Living in a box would leave no room for growth. Limitations would be and are expected and accepted.

The fact is, there is no box. The box resides within your own mind. If you think about it, fear is the same concept. Fear isn’t some kind of huge monster staring down at you when you are about to go skydiving. It’s a mental condition. It is created by our minds and is a limiting belief. Just the same, it’s obvious that we don’t all walk around in cardboard boxes. It’s all just a mental state we all choose to operate in.

The truth is, we as powerful, spiritual beings are capable of anything. The sky is not the limit, there is no limit. Think of what it is that you want to do. Stretch your belief of what is possible because your understanding of what is possible is your only limit. Increase your understanding and you increase your potential. Understand though, you are capable or becoming anything you desire to become. Millionaire, Billionaire, Astronaut, Pilot, Entrepreneur? Take your pick! All it takes is a belief that it can be done, focused consistent action, and you. There is no box!